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[ website | .my fucking space. ]
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(no subject) [Apr. 3rd, 2005|10:31 am]
[mood |gigglygiggly]
[music |pretty (ugly before) {elliott}]

i like tim. and shows that are shitty. and holding hands at shows. and flashing lights. and bagel bites!
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beep beep beep beep :::BZZZT::: [Mar. 31st, 2005|06:39 pm]
[mood |hornysexy]
[music |tuff ghost {the unicorns}]

my robot feeeeliinggsss! and my robot heart, and my robot brain, and my robot ROBOT!

today was actually cheerful.

what a waste. i shouldnt bother with an entry, nobody cares anyway. i guess you can talk to me on aim then. er, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, MAN.

when i was little and i would go to afterschool kindergarten thing, i would always wear these weird stretch leggings with ugly hearts on them. and one time i remember i was going pee and there was this huge window by the toilet and i was so embarassed bc all the kids could see me going potty! and then i realized i forgot underwear that day anyway.

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update journal [Mar. 28th, 2005|09:38 pm]
[mood |crappyblegh]
[music |no regrets {aesop rock}]

the industry is punks!

im in a state of ennui, eww! it sucks man. so i'm going to try and get some energy, because i'm going to need it very badly tomorrow. ugh! gross! tests are dead. the great thing is that my teachers dont even give a shit about peoples grades, and they'll just mark "100" in the box because it's easier than dealing with the whining.

story time!

once upon a time, there was a regular girl named carmen. she did her work with a sulk, smiled at people in the hallways, and wore the same face every day. she came home and complained to the empty internet, and waited for people to get online that she wanted to talk to. they never came online. so she chalked it up to a night wasted and blamed the people around her, simply because she lived with regret and she liked it that way. but in the past few days, she has taken a step backward and seen herself as the other people see her; she doesnt know if she likes what she sees. she is this, she is that. can she decide whether who she is is "bad" or "good"? or should she wash her hands of everything and start over?

"i'm not debating with you. does this look like the internet?"
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you should have seen that sunrise [Mar. 27th, 2005|07:01 pm]
[mood |bitchybitchy]
[music |3x5 {jm}]

i woke up at the crack of noon and suddenly eva and danielle had their backpacks on my bed and lots of stories to tell me. then i popped into the shower and wondered what it feels like to think in a different language. i got out and put on clothes (no bra!) and made small talk with freakin' idiot people that live in my house. later, we ate too much and i learned how to play poker. then i got snappy to my parents and ignored everyone. and here i am on a stupid box with stupid keys that dont unlock anything.

i'm sorry that i'm so bad at returning phone calls. just fucking myspace it or something. i hate telephones.


"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on this planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But, in a marriage, you are promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.'"

so what are you saying tonight?

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waiting for the eggs to boiiil [Mar. 26th, 2005|05:44 pm]
[mood |creativeeggy!]
[music |work {jimmy eat world}]



Fiesta de huevosCollapse )

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diving into shallow water [Mar. 23rd, 2005|01:26 pm]
[mood |distresseddistressed]
[music |karma police {radiohead}]

my lips are hurty, my brain is starting to malfunction. starting? i mean continuing. it's expanding at a rate i can't contol or describe, neurons buzzing and swelling and preforming a veritable symphony of movement behind my eyes! ugh! i'm sure it may be good, but these thoughts strain my spinal cord and make my stomach crash against normalcy!


i decided that i am a matador. i'll wear the clothing, soak in the fame, stand stoic and proud. then i'll wave my little red flag and wait for the bull! and at the last moment, when my life is narrowed down to the pupils of some snorting monster, i'll dash  away in a flourish, allowing the bull to breeze by and turn confused. where is my matador?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

well, that was a cool experiment i suppose. there is an egg party on friday. eggcellent.



OK Carmen!

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i am in a different world [Mar. 20th, 2005|11:33 pm]
[mood |hornyfeisty]
[music |love is blind {eve}]

i feel kind of drained, but that's okay. I have been in long beach, which was fun. i met this group of boys, and i was interested in one of them i suppose, but i realized how stupid and pointless it is to try and wrap something into your suitcase when you dont need it anyway. So now i am in west covina visiting my cousin, and she is sad because the boy she is in love with manipulates her and makes her feel sorry for being alive, so i am trying to make things better. she is talking to him on the phone right now. i hope he gets what is coming to him, and soon. i especially hope that i am the one to make him realize. he deserves whatever bad things happen in his life.


it makes my stomach hurt when people treat my friends and family like they're the worst of the worst; i just feel angry. i wish i didnt. but i'm glad i feel anything, it is a relief sort of.

well, i guess this is goodnight, i'll be back in chico on tuesday. call me or im me or soemthing, i miss you guys!

, carmen
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KITES! [Mar. 16th, 2005|08:45 pm]
so today we had ladies day. no pictures taken, no pictures needed. it is a memory in itself!

i'm leaving until tuesday. call me OR text me if you would like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously. 530 828 5283. im not even joking. i'm going to be lonely, so...hook that shite up.

i dont have anything else to say really. my boobs are sore. i dont know why.
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now presenting! [Mar. 15th, 2005|08:22 pm]
[mood |blahdead]
[music |volcanoes {damien rice}]



myspace.com vs chico high.

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holdin' it down. [Mar. 12th, 2005|12:34 am]
[mood |amusedirritating]
[music |(movie) Iron Jawed Angels {ps it's hella good}]

beep beep honk, you're clogging traffic.

good times in the isolation booth, naptime recordings unlimited. went to alec's after school to curl kyles hair, watch a pretty okay movie called iron jawed angels, i'm serious you should rent it. gonna see tim tomorrow; cool. but i'm not good with times, um, thats a bummer. guys night? wipe that face off your face! so whatever. this is closing weekend--have you seen my show yet? you probably havent. thats ok though. (kinda). anyway, so i hear the train. i guess this is a pretty stupid entry. but honestly (and what a lot of people dont seem to get) i just dont give a fuck.

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